“You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?”
— Jeanette Winterson
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“You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. How do you honor the memory of those you've lost while navigating life's changes? Share your thoughts in the comments below. ❤️
About this quote
We are often told by well-meaning friends that time heals all wounds and that we will eventually 'get over' the loss of someone we love. But as Jeanette Winterson so profoundly reminds us, grief is not a cold that we recover from; it is a permanent reshaping of our soul. The people we lose leave behind an irreplaceable blueprint in our hearts—a unique shape carved by their laughter, their quirks, and their deep impact on our lives. Trying to 'get over' them would mean erasing the very depth of the love we shared. Ultimately, this quote offers a comforting permission slip to grieve on your own terms and for as long as it takes. Healing doesn't mean forgetting, and moving forward doesn't require closing the gap. Instead, it invites us to carry our grief with grace, honoring the irreplaceable space our loved ones occupy. By accepting that the hole in our heart remains in their exact shape, we learn that love doesn't die with absence—it simply transforms into an enduring monument of memory.
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Photo by Pedro Oliveira on Unsplash
